Wednesday, October 01, 2008

The Dumbies Guide To Being A Tough Guy

What makes you a tough SOB? Is it being able to race a bike at the top of the sport against some hardcore athletes that can push their physical boundaries well beyond anyone else's in society? NO WAY!!!! Anyone with half of a brain knows that makes a guy as gay as a three dollar bill!

What makes a guy tough is being able to destroy things! Show your control over everything living by destroying it! HELL YEAH!

If you can't do this, you're not even an average joe in the book of tough guys. You get a C for effort.

This might make you a little tougher than mr. average joe, you'd get a B- with this.

Now we're getting somewhere! You, my friend, are getting much closer by being the Harvard graduate of tough guys! B+ to A- depending on how the professor of tough guys is feeling that day.

You rule the world, literally! You inflict stress to billions of people just by letting them know you can destroy every last one of them! A++++, 110% complete domination by current day technology! Never forget though, if you are the one that designed it, you are a loser, a dork of great magnitude. It takes way too much brain power to create something like this and that amount of brain power is not cool! The only tough guy here is the one who pushed the button to let it drop!

Controlling any of the above devices takes no more than maybe eight watts of physical capacity, but creates anywhere from a few million watts of destruction to who knows how many watts an atomic bomb makes? Maybe something like a octillion watts? Ah crap, I just used a word that proves how much of a nerdy wimp I must be... crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!!!!!!!

People seem to like the idea of destroying other peoples physical capacity via their own, which definitely shows domination! If you're going to be putting out a physical effort, it had better be to destroy someone else. Examples of super tough guy sports: football, boxing, ultimate fighting, and WWF (or whatever it's called today).

A good hit, but it'd be way more impressive if he'd actually knocked the other guys head clean off.

What the hell?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Huge physical effort, frequently going over 1000 watts and averaging many hundred watts all day without causing any permanent damage to your competitors? You get fit and strong without destroying joints or brain cells? Why would anyone ever want to do such a thing? F-, negative one million percent in the book of tough guys! The guy on the motorcycle, he might get a D- in any other conditions, but by this comparison, he gets a B+.

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